What to Say when Someone is Struggling with their Mental Health
When a loved one is struggling, it can feel overwhelming and confusing to figure out how to support them. I am a counselor who works with individuals recovering from eating disorders so I get questions all the time — from parents, spouses, partners, and friends — about what they should do and what they should say. So, I decided it would be helpful to put do a series of posts on this topic, beginning with what to say when someone is struggling. This technique doesn’t only apply to individuals in recovery from eating disorders. This is a skill that can be used when you are supporting anyone who is struggling.
The number one thing I explain to loved ones is the importance of validating the person’s struggle. We don’t want to dismiss the way that the person is feeling. In fact, it might feel counter-intuitive, but we don’t want to fix the problem. Instead, we want to let our loved ones know that we understand why the problem/struggle/emotion/situation is so distressing. When someone feels understood, they start to feel more capable of withstanding hard things.
All of my training on validating emotions comes from Adele LaFrance’s research for Emotion-Focused-Family-Therapy, of EFFT. It is a simple and impactful form of therapy that gives people concrete tools for how to support their struggling loved ones. One of…
